Bloom Where You Are Planted
In December 2019 I decided to take the biggest leap of faith in my life. I decided to move to Houston Texas. As I laid down on an air mattress in my Massachusetts bedroom apartment for the last night, I was covered in fear & excitement. I could barely fall asleep. The thoughts of leaving my family, friends, and the only place I ever knew haunted me.
The dark cold early morning approached and it was time to load the final things into the Uhaul Truck. I went into my sister’s bedroom hugged her saying goodbye as tears flooded out my eyes. Before I officially walked out of the apartment I turned around stood in the living room and thanked my apartment for housing me through some dark & light moments in life. Then, we were off. I was the Passenger Princess in the truck as my partner (at the time) drove us safely across the country, state to state. I never felt so physically safe before in my entire life. My excitement grew stronger and stronger as we approached the Texas state lines.
There we were, getting ready to unload the truck into our first apartment together. We did argue about unloading the truck because I physically could not hold up the mattress on my end, LOL. I was tired & completely depleted from lack of food as no vegan options were easily available on the road. However, the Hercules in him grabbed the mattress and beasted it up the stairs along with the majority of the furniture and boxes from the truck. We got settled into the apartment and started to grow our roots together in Houston.
Then something within me shifted and I could no longer live in the same space as him. My inner child and adult self were suffocating and yearning for my own space (I never lived alone). I then took another leap of faith and decided last minute (after long thought) to go for it and get my own apartment. I did! I was scared! I didn’t have my family here and was “officially” on my own. It was truly the BEST DECISION I ever made for myself. For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t thinking about anyone else. I had to put my own mental, emotional, spiritual, physical, and financial health first.
After several months of trying to grow through the challenges within that relationship container, the time had expired. Everything in life has a start date and expiration date. That relationship is officially over. I am now in a state of mind of blooming where I am planted. I am currently planted in Houston Texas, living on my own, learning more deeply about myself, learning to love this new version of me, and ready to see how I blossom as I will be turning 30 in June 2023.
I am so blessed and grateful to have come in contact with the man that I did. Because our souls chose each other for that season I learned about femininity, leaning back into a softer life, I learned how to look more deeply into another's eyes, I learned how important it is for a man to be heard, felt, and seen. I learned how to play, sing, and dance again with my inner child. Without that relationship, I wouldn’t have explored other parts of the world and I wouldn’t have explored myself in a mental, physical, spiritual, emotional, and sexual way. I learned how to step boldly out of my comfort zone. Most importantly I learned how to bravely venture into the unknown.
If you are finding yourself wanting to take leaps of faith in your life, but find yourself scared to actually go for it. This is your sign to do it. Wherever you end up you are going to learn amazing life lessons, come across experiences you only dreamt about, come into contact with beautiful souls, and create an abundant life for yourself. Don’t hold yourself back because of fear, or not being able to see all the details of the plan. Once you make the first move of leaning into your fear, putting one foot in front of the other your path will slowly be revealed to you.
